Category Archives: Adoption

Adoption, China 2007

Pictures from China 2007

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When we were in China in 2007 we had an internet gallery. This does not exists any more, so I decided to make a new one here on the blog. And to refresh my memories from a trip to the other side of the earth, where I became a mother and Hans a father! A trip so different from anything we ever did and ever will do! A trip to a new life!

China has a huge place in our hearts and will always have. But our memories of the trip is a mix of a fantastic country, a huge city, becoming a family, being so far from home and our loved ones and we can only imagine what Linnea went through. Getting our Linnea was absolutely the best gift we could ever get, but that we didn’t know at the time. Our trip was also a trip with more emotions in the air than any of us ever had experienced before  (and ever will again). Sadness and confusion. Loneliness & helplessness. These big emotions are printed in our bodies and refreshing my memories of the happy moment by looking at the photos make me realize that we really had an amazing start as a family. Look at our smiles! They were there many times! You see it in our eyes! In a split second we became parents to a miracle. Our bodies knew, but our minds needed time to cope with all that was going on!

5 years have passed. We are about to go back as a family. For me it hopefully will bring closure to the though memories! And it will be amazing! (And now I know how to make a gallery when we’re in China again!)

Enjoy the trip back in time from October 22nd to November 8th 2007. Click on the photo to enlarge them.

 

Adoption, Linnea, Photos

4 years

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Where did the time go?

4 years are a long time, and a short time too. On the one hand I can’t understand that we have been parents for 4 years on the other hand, hasn’t Linnea been with us always?

Every year I look back to make a photo movie, and I’m amazed how much Linnea is developing, intellectual, social and in any other way.

Some of the biggest events this year has been:

  • Loosing 2 teeth
  • Got her ears pierced
  • Being on holiday in Denmark in grandma’s summerhouse without mom and dad
  • Riding a camel in a circus
  • Being on holiday to Greece
Normally we would have taken the day off today, but I’m at a new job and it’s important to be there because I want to stay there more than the 3 months I was promised. So on Saturday we will celebrate our 4th family day and our 10th wedding anniversary (Thursday) with my mother, one of Linneas best friend and her family. First we’re going bowling and then we’ll eat at an Asian restaurant.
Tonight she’ll get her present!
Well no more “talking” now, here comes the 2011 video with music is “My wish” by Rascall Flats. Enjoy!
Download/watch the video here if you can’t see it on YouTube!

Adoption

Happy Familyday!

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I just can’t believe it’s 3 years since we were in China!!! Time flies and our little scared girl is now a big brave girl – a good combination of a princess and a pirate!

Today we plan to stay at home since Tindra still can’t be alone. So we planned a movieday and lucky for that, cause Linnea got a fever last night and didn’t sleep that well during the night!
She still got the fever but looks forward to eat popcorn, candy, icecream etc!!!

As always I’ve made a video with photos from  the year that’s gone, and I hope you like it!

If you can’t watch it here you can download the movie here.

Adoption, Almänt, Mettes corner

Friends

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Over a period of time I have got a lot of criticism for the way I live, eat, raise and feed my daughter. All on facebook and all by one family (3 adults with 3 biological children).  As of today the friendship is over and I sit here with an odd feeling of relief and sadness.  I have know 2 of these people for 12 years or so.

I have suspected that it would end one day since our talk about infertility back in the beginning  of 2007. Hans and I had our papers in China, and I was “pregnant” (adoption language) with our Chinese child.

Our friends asked if there were any chance for us to have a biological child, and we said no. Then he said: “But if you did, miracles happens, the you could say Fuck You! to the Chinese!”

And I answered: “NO! I would be very sad if I became pregnant now! I would mourn my Chinese child I never would have!”

He didn’t understand that and I said: “Then you value bio-children higher than adopted children!” and he answered: “Yes I do!”

That day I promised my self that if anything from him or his family showed me that they had something against my child I would end the friendship.

When we finally knew who we had been waiting for for so many years, they didn’t bother to comment on my power point show I mailed to our friends and family. When we finally talked on the phone and I said that Hans was going to be a father he asked if I was pregnant? So I asked if he hadn’t seen the power point? And his comment was – “ohh Yes she’s sweet.”

Now Linnea is here and is our daughter, and this family keeps coming back with negative comments on my behavior with words about that it’s bad for Linnea. They have been rude, coming with small hints like “if I had had a baby…… I would know” etc. Always Linnea is mentioned Enough is enough.

I don’t need them in my life and wouldn’t call it friendship. And I surely don’t want Linnea to grow up around such people.

I probably should have ended it long ago, but I thought that meeting our daughter and seeing us with her would change them, but no and now I give up on them. May they live happy in their world!

I will cherish my real friends so much more. I have met so many wonderful people all over the world and I will keep you in my heart!

Adoption, China

Presents from China

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Today came a parcel from China. Linneas foster family send her some local handcraft and she was very happy.

I told her it was from her foster mom & foster dad and she said: It’s from my family!! I answered: Yes it’s from your Chinese family! They took so good care of you until we came to pick you up! So we are family now!

We opened the parcel in the kitchen and left the things there when we went to eat. When Linnea almost was in bed she ran to the kitchen: My China things! And she brought all of them to her room. Tomorrow she’ll bring some of them to kinder garden to show her friends!

Thank you Huang Guang Shun & Zhang Yun Zhi it was very kind of you to think of Linnea – I felt that she felt she was special to resieve  a parcel from you!!

Here comes some pictures – click on them to enlarge!

PS Doesn’t she look big on these pictures? I’ll never stop being amazed by this miracle girl – my daughter!

Adoption, Linnea

2 Years to day!

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2 years ago we were in China thinking we had made our whorst mistake to take a little girl away from everything she’d ever known!

To day we know it was the best thing we ever did!

2 years is a lifetime for Linnea, but only a small part of our lives!

Finally it feels like we’re in the right place, we are the family we want to be!

To day all 3 of us are a solid unit, like we have been together forever! Even though we sometimes forget Linneas origin we’ll always have China in our hearts!

We will never be able to understand how it could be so right, but we are forever greatfull for having her in our lives!

Never for a minute do we believe that we could have done it better our self, never a minut of sorrow for not having a new born baby and never do we wish to get a biological child! We are so happy now! After years of sorrow and despair, joy and fustration we are now at the desitnation we set off for in July 1998. I has been a long trip but to day looking at Linnea it was all worth while!

We have celebrated the day with presents for Linnea: New clothes and a keybord. I have had it for a long time, and I’ve seen Linnea look at childrens keybords in the shops. So today she got it!

We also went to the cinema in Hässleholm to see Curious George and we ate at a Chinese restaurant.

Photos from to day:

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She was so happy that she started to dance…..  If you can’t see it on Youtube – download it here, 32 Mb

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familjedag2

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familjedag6

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I have made a small film to selebrate this day. If you can’t watch it here, you can download it here. (85 Mb)

Adoption, Friends

What a wonderful world!

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When I was a child my parents took me traveling. I had a friend in England when I was 5 and another in Austria when I was 12.
I remember that it was exiting to get to know other people from other countries and cultures. I remember my father enjoying talking to new people! (English, German and a little Spanish)

My father had a friend when he was a teenager. As an adult his friend emigrated to Australia, but they kept in touch. When I was 10 or 11 he came to Denmark with his family to visit his mother, and we were invided too. He had 2 sons 1 and 2 years older than me, they were very shy because I was a girl.

After the visit my father kept saying to me that I ougth to write them letters and he discused it with his friend in their letters.

When I finally learned English I wrote one and got an answer! A friend in Australia!

It was so far away but my dream was to go there one day! I wrote an essay on Ayers Rock and one on coala bears.

I don’t think my father had any plan for me other than learning English, but he started a friendship with a link to him self, an importen thing for me today!

Almost a month ago David came to Sweden, with him was his family. I have met his wife twice before but not the children!

Now our children spend the weekend together, they became friends – I can see my father smile! Third generation!!!!

palle_sommerMy father Palle Sömberg 1932-1993

alex_linnea_nikThird generation: Alex, Linnea & Nik

This summer we also met with our friend from Belarus and Switzerland – 16 years after my visit to Belarus! And with our parents and children! Also here tree generations of friend startet by the middle generation 17 or 18 years ago! Time flies! But the friendship is strong as ever!

I remember writing to Belarus many years ago that I was dreaming about the day when our children would meet! Hopefully the girls friendship will last too.

belarus_copenhagenAlexandra, Doris, Elin, Hans, Linnea, me, Oleg & Tanya (Mom is behind the camera)

Our friends from The Netherlands just left us yesterday morning after a very good weekend together. The Children – in total 3 are all born in China became friends very quickly and had a great time! Now I just hope that the familys dream about a Swedish summerhouse will come true so we’ll be able to meet more often!

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Norah, Linnea & Robin

So my father didn’t just teach me to be better in English but also to make friends outside my world! And so I did as a young teenager and now because of the adoption! Mailinglists with Swedish adoption families, another with families from all over the world! New friends with an adoption story to connect us. Something in a mail catches you eye and you got a connection that leads to friendship and visits!

It might sounds odd to say but adoption is absolutely “it” for me! All these people I now know because of the adoption and of course the internet is something I never expected! But I just love it!

I hope is that Linnea will treasure these people as I do and will understand the beauty of an open heart and mind! What you can get from being friends across borders and cultures!

Then of course there is the new “family members” too: Linneas foster family in China who gave her the start in life every child should be entitled to and the sponsor that made the foster family possible! People we’re forever grateful for, they cared for our miracle and still do!
A month or so ago we actually showed Linnea the picture of me and her foster family together the day we got her.  Here we are!

fosterfamily
The son Huang zhi feng, his wife Wu jia hui, me, foster mother Zhang Yun Zhi and foster father Huang Guang Shun.

Linneas reaction was: “Where is dad?” and I told her, that he was at the hotel with her! And that was it! So 2 days ago she got her 2 photo albums – one from the foster family and one from the orphanage. I the showed her all the photos we got from Grace & Hope for Children and promised her a copy for the album! It is both a relief and very sad that she has forgotten her family, but we will make sure to keep them alive in her mind and heart till the day we meet again!

And that leads me to the fantastic idea that we could meet up with the Wagner family from USA in Nanning – gues what my dear Karen said? YES! But I do hope to meet the Wagners before the China trip…….

So my hope is to teach Linnea to make friends not only at home but in the whole wide world!
To make conections lasting over generations, carrying a story from the past into the future!

Lots of Love, you are forever in my heart!

Mette

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PS Linnea said to day that she wanted a big lollipop when we go on holiday, this is her danish words: Jeg vil ha en stor lollipop!
So I asked: What is a lollipop? and she answered in Swedish: En klubba! And smiled! She is on to her third language 🙂

When we speak English to our friends, Linnea only speaks Swedish – and of course Danish to us!

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Adoption, Linnea

Why? Why? Why?

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A question we hear 1000 times a day! Everything we say is questioned by Linnea with a why?

And we explain… and she says: Why?
Sometime she comes with more than just why?

For example:

Why are you my mother?

Dad and I wantet a gril – a Chinese girl!
WHY?
Becaus I couldn’t have a baby in my stomac but instead we could have you!

Why was I in your stomac?

You were in you China-moms stomac.
WHY?
Because all children start their lives in a moms stomac.

Why didn’t I drink milk from your brests?

I could not get any milk in my brests.
WHY?
It didn’t work.
WHY?
I don’t know. But when we got you in China you didn’t want milk, you wanted water or tee. You were no a baby.

Why are you married?

We are married because we love each other.
Why is no all marries? (Linnea language – sometimes she misses words or how it ends!)
You don’t have to – but we had to other wise we couldn’t adopt, so we had to be married to get you!
I would have been sad Linnea answers!
We would have been sad to! We wanted you! I said!

One day Linnea was a little sad and mumbled something about Mormor (my mother) and I asked her: Do you miss mormor? YES.
And a little after – like she was thinking: I just love her! Then we picked up the phone and rang mormor in Denmark!

Our little prinsess is a very caring little person! And she thinks a lot! She often says: I’m glad! or I love my kinder garden!

The other day at kinder garden she said: I was in the stomac in China then mom and dad came for me!

What a miracle that we got her! Our Linnea Sunxue Erika Sömberg 🙂

In the photo from left:

Linnea & Elin her friend from Swizerland, Linnea reading her small books out on the deck, Linnea & Mormor, Linnea & Mathilda at Kinder garden.

collage_spring09

Adoption

2 år / years!

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I dag för 2 år sedan ringde min mobil kl. 12:30! Det var Mona ifrån Barnens Vänner! Vi hade blivit utvalda till flickan Sunxue!! Vilke glädje men också lite skrämmande!!! Och nu har det redan gått 2 år! Nu ligger hon i sin säng i rummet är intill och läser mina gamla Pixie böcker och sägar glatt: “Godnat mor!”

To day it’s 2 years since the phone rang at 12:30! Mona from our adoption organisation said we had been chosen for the girl Sunxue.
Now she’s reading my old small books in her bed – and says happily: “Good night mom!”

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Now she can hold Valde too – and it seems like he knows when it’s her so he’s more careful! 🙂

Adoption

Att vara utvalt / To be chosen!

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”Istället för att fastna i att man blivit ”fråntagen” upplevelsen av en graviditet och förlossning eller att i sitt barn kunna upptäcka sina egna personlighetsdrag och anlag, började upplevelsen av att vara utvald att dominera.”

Så skrivar Anna Elias om att bli adoptivföräldrar och det är sååååå sant!!!

Vi är en utvalt familj!

Och vi har lärt känna sååååå många underbara människor just därför!

Kram

Mette – En stolt adoptivmamma!

“Instead of getting stucked in “we didn’t get” to be pregnant and give birth or to see the similarities in our children, the expirience of being chosen started to dominate!”

So writes Anna Elias about adoption and it’s sooooo true!

We are a chosen family!

And we have met som many wonderfull people because of this!

Love

Mette – A proud adoptive mom